


Don’t Bother Looking Down, We’re Not Going That Way

by bluefirebabe



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, I suck at pacing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:46:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24099049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluefirebabe/pseuds/bluefirebabe
Summary: Severa’s parents won’t stop bugging her about when she’s getting a boyfriend. What better way to stick it to them than to bring home a pretend girlfriend?Things get out of hand from there.
Relationships: Noire/Serena | Severa
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	1. My Lesbianism, My Business

**Author's Note:**

> The Severa/Noire tag is too empty for my tastes, so I figured that while I’m unable to update another fic atm, I could try and fill the void that is rarepair hell a little. This trope seemed rather fitting. There’ll be 3ish chapters of this, except I suck at pacing so maybe more or less. Enjoy!!

Severa sat down at the breakfast table, dressed in only a t-shirt and the bare minimum needed to not be bare, and ignored everything her parents said. Taxes, work, whatever stupid event her mom was planning for school, and all that garbage. But soon enough, the topic turned to Severa. She groaned, ready to ignore whatever it was. They were probably gonna tell her to get more friends, or to stop spending so much money shopping. Absently, she picked at the food on her plate, knowing leaving the table early would upset her parents.

“Severa, sweetie, we’re talking to you.” Cordelia sighed, used to her daughter’s personality. No one said anything, so she glanced at her husband pointedly.

“R-right. Severa, your mother and I have been talking about it and—“

“If you’re trying to get me to work even more for my allowance, then I hate you.” Last time they had done that, she had obviously not done the work at first, and ended up pissed when they didn’t give her money anyways. Now she did the bare minimum of her chores. If her parents had more chores to do, maybe they’d be home more often.

“No, sweetie. You’re halfway through your senior year of high school already, and we just wanted to know...” Cordelia noticed Lon’qu was once again pretending to not be paying attention, and coughed to give him the signal. He didn’t answer. She sighed and continued, “When you might be getting a boyfriend?”

“Boys your age are nothing but trouble,” Severa’s dad finally spoke. While Cordelia seemed worried for her (Ha! As if her mom could have a worry anywhere in the world!), her dad had an odd, silent rage about him. “And we don’t want you getting... anything.”

“Gawds Daddy, they already gave us the talk years ago at school! Do I look daft?” Of course she wasn’t going to get ‘anything,’ especially not pregnant. She wanted to laugh at that thought. If her parents were seriously worried about teen pregnancy, they didn’t know their daughter at all. Clearly they didn’t, as this whole conversation had shown.

“And... Severa, you would...” her mom glanced down at her own phone, not at all subtly reading something. “tell us, right? If you’re dating someone, you can go ahead and tell us. We won’t be mad, sweetie.”

“I’d be mad—“ Lon’qu noticed his wife glaring at him and amended his statement. “—That you were keeping secrets from your father. Er, go ahead and tell us... sweetie.”

Severa continued to drag food around her plate, all but seething. It was  none of their business if she was single or not. And it wasn’t any of their business if she liked boys or not either. That stuff was private.

Cordelia looked at her phone a few moments more, a grimace settling on her face. Maybe this was the part where they said Severa was a liar and a bad daughter or something stupid.

“It’s okay if you aren’t dating anyone yet, sweetie,” That word again. Gosh, her mom was overusing it. Anyone could see through that empty flattery with ease. It was really getting to Severa, though. “Some people just aren’t ready yet at your age. If you feel like you aren’t mature enough that‘s—“

“I’m definitely mature enough! I-in fact, I am dating someone! Ugh!” She blurted randomly. Obviously she wasn’t, as she had decided not to until she got out of the house for good, just in case. Also, her love life was just not their business. Her lesbianism, her business, which meant her parents didn’t get to know. Her gynophobic dad already had a hard time having a daughter, and her perfect mom... Severa didn’t want to disappoint her any more than she already had. Not that she even cared at all.

“What?” It wasn’t him asking what she had said, so much as ‘what awful creature have you let into your heart?’

“Who?” She said it with similar disdain.

“S-someone! None of your business!” Words spilled randomly out of her mouth, and she decided to not backtrack at all. She’d just tell them they couldn’t meet him, and that would be that. An easy,  straight forward plan.

“You’re bringing him to dinner tonight or I’ll come to his house and have a... chat with him.” Her dad stated plainly. “Or you’re grounded.”

“W-what? You can’t ground me!” She looked her mom for help (she didn’t need it, though). “Can... can he?”

“Sweetie, I’m going to have to agree with your father on this one. We don’t want you getting involved with anyone shady.”

“Oh, come  on! ” She threw her fork down on her plate and ran up the stairs and into her bedroom, slamming the door. Who the hell was she gonna ask? Owain? No, he had DND Saturday nights. And, shit, she was gonna miss DND. Not that she wanted to go anyways. Inigo? He also had DND, and was probably the worst choice of fake boyfriend.

“Gah!” She kicked her dresser randomly, stubbing her toe. There was no way she was getting grounded just because she couldn’t come up with a fake boyfriend! Severa sat down on her bed and scrolled through her phone contacts, realizing there were no boys who would fit her criteria. Someone had to be free, single, and nice enough. The name Yarne was the last in her contact list. Oh, and a fourth thing: not a furry.

They were barely home, what did they care what she did? Her parents couldn’t work all day and then acted like they gave a damn. Lon’qu barely had time to take her shopping anymore (most weekends she had to go alone, which meant she had to pay for it all. Awful.), and Cordelia hardly paid any attention to her. That woman paid more attention to her boss—a married man—than she did to her husband or child.

The last time either of them had really done anything for her was when they took her to get her hair dyed for the first time. That was years ago, and now she just went and did it herself. Severa looked great with red hair instead of her father’s color, even if her and her mom looked similar now. The apple fell far from the tree, and looked way better, too. Seriously, who would eat wrinkly bark over a juicy apple? Bad analogy, whatever.

Well, if this was how her parents were gonna play it... fine. She scrolled up in the list, picking a name with malice. If she was getting grounded anyways, she wanted to be buried six feet under. Severa could picture her parents’ dumbfounded faces... serves them right.

Not two seconds after tapping the call button, she heard a small amount of fumbling around followed by a voice.

“S-Severa? Is something wrong...?”

“Noire, I need you to do something. Dress up nice—or, fuck it, wear a trash bag for all I care—and come to my house at six.”

“Wh-why?”

“You’re my pretend date tonight. My parents want to meet my nonexistent boyfriend.”

“Do I... have to dress like a boy?”

“Gawds, no. Wear a lesbian pride flag or something.”

“C-Could I borrow—“

“Geez, not really!”

“Heh heh, I know. I’ll be there at six.”

_ Beep. _

“Don’t hang up on me you—!“ she sighed. Her best friend was shy and helpless around just about everyone, yet somehow found it in her to tease Severa. Noire was so immature sometimes, like when she screamed about the stupidest stuff. Severa was glad she herself wasn’t phased by anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to Anazlannedi for being the best beta reader as usual ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️!! I added a bit after she beta read it so it might have a couple mistakes, please point any you notice out! All criticism welcome!


	2. I’ll Stunt my Growth if I Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fake date, complete with some incredibly self-indulgent gay panic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than I would’ve liked because it’s basically painful to write embarrassment. Hopefully that doesn’t mean it’s too painful to read. Enjoy!!

Her parents said she wasn’t leaving the house until they got to meet her boyfriend. Grounded, even though she told them her date would be there at six! That was it, they were officially the worst. Severa swore silently that she wasn’t talking to them until dinner. Without a word, she opened the fridge to grab a can of soda—

“Sweetie, you shouldn’t be having so much caffeine at your age.”

—two cans of soda. Before her mom could finish telling her that Severa wouldn’t be able to grow as tall as her mom if she drank all that, she trudged back up the stairs in a rush. Chugging two sodas in the span of a minute was something she would _not_ regret, especially if her mom thought she would.

Cordelia wanted to see her sweet little Severa on a date? Fine, a gay one. And she probably wanted her to look nice, too. Painting a pride flag on her forehead would’ve been perfect, but she didn’t have all the colors she needed (because, seriously, who would ever wear green on a normal day?), so orange and pink eyeshadow would work. They wouldn’t understand; Screw them.

Six couldn’t come fast enough, so she resigned to looking at memes for several hours instead of doing anything useful. Usually she texted Noire when she was bored (she was always willing to talk), but she didn’t want her to back out of the fake date or anything. It wasn’t a real one, so there shouldn’t have been any issue, although Severa was feeling a little nervous. _“It’s not even real, there’s no time for that. Be gay, do crime!”_

Suddenly six was approaching far too fast. It was five thirty and she was hardly ready at all. What was she going to say? “This is my girlfriend, bet you feel real dumb now, hets.”? That wouldn’t work! Gods, she hadn’t thought this through very well. What was she meant to wear? A dress was too formal, probably, but her t-shirt and jeans didn’t seem like date attire. “Screw it,” Severa muttered to herself, “no one will care what you wear when you get grounded for months for this.”

Before she could put on a slightly nicer shirt or at least some leggings, she heard that familiar, ungodsly screech, along with the ring of their doorbell.

”Severa, Sweetie? Can you get that? I’m busy setting the table!” Cordelia called from downstairs. Geez, was it time already? 

Without responding to her mom, she came to get the door. Opening doors wasn’t usually so nerve wracking... Well, opening the door at that moment was like opening a can of worms. Rainbow, partying worms designed to get back at her parents, worms that would probably ending up eating her clothes in her sleep. Maybe that was moths...

”H-hello... is this the right time?” Noire shuffled on her feet, clearly not used to wearing heels (they weren’t even that high, and she was already super tall, so what even was the point?). Severa recognized her dress—she had bought it for Noire on a shopping trip once—, and yet it still caught her off guard. The violet flower print had been one of her main reasons for picking her that dress. It fit her current situation well enough, and, damn, did it fit Noire.

”Um... I can come back later, if—“ Severa hadn’t realized she was staring silently. It was just such a cute dress, she guessed.

”Well, you aren’t late,” She began to walk away, hoping Noire would follow. It was best to just get this over with and get grounded, and maybe Noire would get to hear Severa’s parents’ scolding if they were lucky.

The dinner table was set nice enough, and thankfully didn’t have more than one fork per person. Her father sat not at the head of the table as usual, but on the side, next to his wife. He glared straight ahead in a way that said ‘whoever’s dating my daughter, sit here and be punished.’ Meanwhile, Severa’s mother seemed content enough. Horrible.

As they walked into the room, her parents’ gazes turned towards the two girls. Lon’qu looked mildly perplexed, as if he was wondering why Severa had brought a friend instead of a significant other. Cordelia choked at the sight of the second young woman, and then looked at Severa, demanding an answer.

”You wanted to meet my _boy_ friend. Well...” Her confidence faltered for a moment as she saw her father’s expression shift as he began to understand. “Noire is my... girlfriend.”

“Sweetie, are you sure—“

”Yes!” She said a little too quickly. Severa was completely sure about, y’know, girls, even if Noire wasn’t _the_ girl. Noire wouldn’t be the worst one, but this whole thing was fake anyways, so it didn’t matter too much to Severa. It shouldn’t, anyways.

”—Because when I was your age,” Cordelia continued, ignoring Severa’s interruption. “I thought I loved Su- someone like that. A girl.... but now we’re both... happily married!”

Severa wasn’t too sure what to make of that, although she guessed it explained a few things. Noire coughed from behind her friend. It had gone from somewhat awkward (introducing a boyfriend to your family) to tension thick enough to cut with a knife (coming out and having your mother randomly spurt out some things about her depressing love life).

”It... wouldn’t do to waste food. Come eat.” Lon’qu began eating his food in silence, like it was some sort of chore.

”Er, yes, Noire, come eat. You’re... like a member of our family.” Cordelia cleared her throat and also began eating.

“I... okay.” Noire sat down across from Lon’qu, in visible fear of the man. Severa sat down next to her “girlfriend” and decided things weren’t bad enough yet. She reached her arm out as far as she could, but realized it wasn’t long enough to reach Noire’s shoulders from here.

“Just yawning...” she muttered at a volume barely anyone could hear. “This _is_ boring, right?”

“Yes, sweetie, it is.” Cordelia was probably crying inside watching her plans for the evening—for Severa— getting ruined. She looked down at (no doubt) her phone and then stood up suddenly. “Who wants cake? We have some around here somewhere...” From the table, she walked to the fridge, to the pantry, and then into the garage.

”I’m going to... help find the cake. Behave.” Lon’qu slipped his phone into his pocket and walked out the door as well.

”They’re coming back... right?” Noire asked. “To pay for your college, at least...”

”Gawds, they’re probably just going outside to cry or drink or something. Parents don’t just leave over stuff like that!” Severa couldn’t tell if Noire had been joking or not, and honestly didn’t care. They’d be back sooner or later.

Noire became suddenly invested in her phone at this point, scrolling absently with a finger while letting her other arm hang uselessly to the side. Severa felt a strange urge to hold her hand. She was clumsy, so she could probably fall out of the chair if there was no one supporting her—as her best and probably only friend, it was Severa’s job to not let her do stupid things like that.

She sat very incorrectly in the chair (pride or something) and grabbed Noire’s hand.

”Huh?” Noire looked confused for a second, but then went back to scrolling through whatever, a faint smile on her face.

”So... Noire. There’s this Christmas party...” Severa’s original plan had to only be fake dating Noire for the one date, but now that she was, she realized it could be useful for other things. “It’s couples only, so I was wondering—“

Noire turned her head completely towards Severa. “W-What?” She asked, that smile still on her face. Severa resisted the urge to smile at her smile, thinking it might get them somehow stuck into an infinite loop of smiles. Her smile wasn’t _that_ pretty anyways, Severa just wished she had teeth that straight or something.

”If you would like to be my pretend date for it?”

”Oh.” Her voice was... softer, somehow. Flatter. Cracking. “Okay, being your fake date would be... nice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS TO THE BEST BETA READER EVER AGAIN 👉😎👉💖💖💖💖
> 
> I’m hit with the crippling realization that this might end up being 4 chapters, hopefully I can keep it to 3 argh


	3. “So you think I should maybe dress more...festively?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fake couple goes to the couples’ Christmas party, and then the rest is extremely cliche.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You would not believe how much effort it took to not write an epilogue where they get married. Enjoy!

A few weeks after that ordeal, Severa’s biggest problem became her outfit. Nowhere on the post about the Christmas party had it said what to wear. A Santa dress? A t-shirt? Whatever she wore would no doubt end up being the wrong choice. It was just a stupid party, but it was a stupid party with all the stupidest, coolest people and their partners. 

She threw on whatever, some dress or something, and headed out. Noire had offered to drive her, but Severa knew she could _not_ be trusted with heavy machinery, so she took the wheel. What kind to fake girlfriend would she be if she let them crash and die?

Her parents were still dubious about her “girlfriend,” and Severa realized not even getting fake married would fully convince them she liked girls. There was just no point in trying with them. If she told them her relationship was a fake, or said she had broke up with Noire, they’d probably assume it meant she was straight.

 _“At least pretending to date her isn’t so bad,”_ she thought as she parked the car on the street. _“I get into cool parties like this, and she doesn’t make the worst girlfriend...”_ Her train of thought was interrupted when she realized just how far she was going to have to walk. “Ugh, come on, before it gets farther away somehow!”

Severa grabbed Noire’s hand without thinking and basically dragged her along. Noire had a hard time keeping up, despite her legs being a bit longer than Severa’s. Aside from her legs just being long, they were hardly covered. The short boots and even shorter skirt were a little much, especially for someone as meek as Noire, although it wasn’t that bad a look.

”I never asked, but what’s up with the...” she gestured vaguely to Noire’s whole outfit.

”Oh! My dad said I should dress festively! I, um, borrowed a lot of this from my mom.” Noire stealing a few things from her mother wasn’t too uncommon, but it was usually a few dollars or a paperweight. It was beyond Severa why Tharja even owned things like that. Seriously, she was in her thirties and still dressed like a teenage girl.

”Well, it doesn’t look bad. I might have to ‘borrow’ a few things from you!” She cringed at her attempt to compliment her friend. Saying she looked good should’ve been easy enough. Whatever, she sucked at compliments, and didn’t want Noire getting the wrong idea about anything. They’d probably ‘break up’ after Valentine’s.

”Heh heh...” Noire squeezed her hand a barely noticeable amount tighter and didn’t let go as they walked inside. Severa should’ve, because her hand was getting all sweaty and gross.

Severa realized it looked like no one knew what to wear. Geez, who was stupid enough to wear sweatpants? She thanked Naga that she had at least had the mind to wear something that could pass as formal (if you looked sideways, anyways).

“I don’t really go to parties... what are we meant to do here?” She has almost forgotten Noire was socially incompetent and could hardly keep up a conversation with anyone other than Severa or her sister Morgan. And who wanted to talk to Morgan anyways?

”Oh, you know, go out behind the building and make out. Maybe in a bathroom stall if we can get one.” Severa deadpanned, wondering if Noire would actually believe her.

”Um... that’s... not that I would... but...” Her fake girlfriend muttered, looking like she was trying to hide in the crowd despite being way too tall to do so. Noire let go of Severa’s hand, giving Severa some odd emotion... just guilt, probably. Her teasing went too far sometimes.

”I’m just messing with you, geez!” Severa elbowed Noire gently, which was somehow still enough to make the frail girl stumble over a few steps and bump into someone else.

“Noire, great to see you here! My date kinda... abandoned me. Care to dance?” Oh great, they had hardly been standing around half an hour and someone had already come to annoy them. Inigo grinned and Severa wanted to punch his teeth in. Now was _not_ the time for his bullshit. Owain was definitely single, so he at least wasn’t going to come anywhere near her or Noire.

“Oh... I’m here with someone... sorry.” Noire backed away from him. She didn’t seem like the type to respond well to flirting. Either she’d do her stupid 50 apologies or she’d scream about blood and thunder.

”Oh, my apologies. But I don’t see him around here. It isn’t very gentleman-like to abandon yo—“

”Go harass someone else, Inigo. Noire and I are here together, so beat it!” Severa took Noire’s hand back, to prove something and not because she wanted to hold it in hers.

“Oh, you two? Well, I wish it were me, but I hope you have fun nonetheless.” Inigo smiled, like he knew something she didn’t,and pushed past them to leave.

“Whatever, weirdo.” Severa said, rolling her eyes. This party was meant to be cool, and they let Inigo in? She had half a mind to skip the next DND session over this... They were in an exciting dungeon, though... not that she actually cared about their tabletop game.

“Um, Sev—“ Noire tried to say something.

”I mean, seriously, who does he even think he is? Interrupting two people clearly on a date?!”

”D-do you see—“ Noire again attempted to talk, but was cut off by someone else speaking.

“What majesty! Two fair maidens, caught beneath such a... plant.” Owain faltered at the end of his dumb incoherent gibberish, still making a total of zero sense.

”A plant? We’re indoors, you—“ Severa suddenly realized something and glared at Owain. If she didn’t look, it didn’t count, and she wouldn’t have to do anything. “W-who even let you in?! Leave us alone!” she snapped at him, scanning the crowd for an opening to escape through. She found none.

Owain somehow found a way out and was gone in a flash—he probably thought it was a real flashy flash, or some weird adjectives—, leaving just Severa, Noire, and a lot of tension.

”We can just leave,” Severa said, knowing it would make them look stupid but not caring too much about what others thought. Kissing her would probably just make Noire uncomfortable, and Severa was scared what she herself would think of it. “If you don’t want to kiss me.”

It sounded ruder than she intended, and Noire winced. Severa couldn’t quite place the expression on her face. _“Great, she’s disgusted by you, AND now she thinks you’re a bitch.”_ Maybe that was why her mother didn’t believe Noire was her girlfriend. That was why she wouldn’t ever be, in any case.

”I...um...” Noire looked around for a moment—for what, Severa wasn’t sure—, and then went for it.

”Huh—“

It was not at all what a kiss should’ve been like. Her nose got bumped, it was an awkward angle, and Noire had a hand on her shoulder in a weird position. Overall, not an ideal first kiss. Severa had to admit she didn’t mind it, and yet she didn’t get to say anything more.

”I... sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry!” Noire was gone, supposedly having found an escape route.

”A-are you daft?! Get back here!” Severa chased after her. Wow, she was surprising mobile in that cute outfit. There were more important things to think about than that... Her best friend—and, okay, maybe Severa had a little crush on her—and fake girlfriend had just _actually_ kissed her.

”Stupid...” Noire had found somewhere behind the building to catch her breath.

”That... wasn’t exactly what I meant when I said ‘make out behind the building.’” Severa tried to calm the situation with a joke, which earned a shaky laugh from Noire.

”I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have... I didn’t even ask you... I’m sorry...” Noire went on and on with her stupid apologizes. If she wasn’t so nice, Severa would’ve slapped her. Well, Severa wasn’t exactly nice, but you’d have to be a complete demon to slap Noire.

”Well, some warning would’ve been nice,” it had been so shocking that Noire of all people would go for it like that. “But it’s fine.” Severa waved it away with her hand, motioning that it was no big deal that she had kissed her full on the mouth.

”I... know it’s all just pretend. I’m sorry.” Noire shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself. “Maybe we should stop... Sorry.”

Thankfully, no one was actually around making out to see this pathetic display. Severa sighed, wondering how bad the reaction to her next words were going to be.

”Maybe we should! And maybe we should stop being friends, too.” No, that wasn’t how she meant to say it... _“Focus, Sev, just tell her what you want her to hear. Or, was it what she wants to hear? Ugh, whatever!”_

”Oh. That’s... Okay. I’m sorry, I can walk home.” Noire surprisingly didn’t start screaming anything offensive, instead looking down at the ground with an expression like she had been kicked in the ribs a dozen times. That was much worse than being screamed at.

”I mean—wait—ugh!” Severa took a deep breath, which did not help settle her nerves whatsoever. “Okay. Noire. Do you wanna maybe-be-my-actual-girlfriend?”

”Huh?” Noire looked back up at Severa, a small smile forming on her face.

”It’d be an honor to date me, you know!” Severa looked at her friend—her girlfriend—, and rolled her eyes. “D-Don’t cry!”

”I’m sorry...” Noire laughed, a little too wickedly, and then coughed.

“D-Don’t laugh either! I told you, you’re lucky I like you!” Severa crossed her arms. 

“Heh heh,” Noire laugher again, clearly just to annoy Severa. “So shouldn’t we go back inside?”

”I was thinking we could go buy a cake or something, actually.” Her parents had never come back with one, instead silently slipping back into the house in the middle of the night.

”But you were looking forward to this so much! I dressed up like this!”

”There’s another one in Spring you can be my _actual_ date to. C’mon!” She ignored Noire’s comment amount the outfit, although she wondered if Tharja had clothes like that for other holidays. Maybe they could steal all of Tharja’s weird outfits together. 

With that, Severa grabbed Noire’s hand and they headed off to go buy a big, gay cake with money Noire had ‘borrowed’ from her mom, and then they ate the entire thing. Severa wasn’t feeling too great about that the next day, but what mattered was that they had had fun in the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAVE I MENTIONED HOW GREAT MY BETA READER IS 💖💖💖💖 BECAUSE SHE’S WONDERFUL 💖💖💖😎💖💖💖


End file.
